No Life King Xander Summers
by MartinDeShade
Summary: YAHF Xander decides to go as something different for Halloween. Note Xander's last name in the title. There will be SEX both hetero and femslash.


Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy nor Hellsing.

AN: Xander decides to go as something different for Halloween. Note the title for the hint that this is different than usual.

AN: Slightly AU for Hellsing, ie toned down powers, ghouls only happen if the person is completely drained, and a couple other things to make it slightly erotic.

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Xander is looking for a machine gun at Ethan's Costume Shop to go with some old fatigues at home for his Halloween costume. But he find two huge plastic Desert Eagle pistols that look like what Alucard uses in the Hellsing show. "Man I would love to go as Alucard." he mutters.

With Ethan standing a couple feet behind the young man he easily hears him and perks up hearing about his favorite crazed character. He asks the young man, "You a fan of the Hellsing shows?"

Xander nods and says, "Yeah. I love the way he uses those big guns and laughs maniacally. But I can't, that is I don't have enough money on me to buy a suit and yellow sunglasses."

Ethan seems to perk up even more hearing when the kid mentions the maniacal laughter and tells him, "You could rent the suit and glasses from me since I think I have a suit in the back that is your size. I'll give you a good deal since its my favorite show" Thinking all the chaos that would develop having an Unsealed Alucard running in the streets.

Xander answers, "Okay, but how much?"

Ethan thinks about it and responds with, "10 to rent the suit, and 10 to buy the glasses and guns."

"Deal." Xander quickly agreeing.

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Joyce smiled at Xander, appreciating his sharp dark gray suit, red hat and red trench coat. She things, 'He really cleans up nice. I can't believe Buffy would go for that dour college kid instead of him.' With a smirk she thinks, 'if he was a little older and I was a little younger I would make a go at him even if he is my daughter's friend. Yummy!'

Joyce says, "You look quite dashing in that costume Xander. What are you going as?"

"I am dear beautiful lady, Alucard of the Hellsing Organization." he replies with a slight Transylvanian accent.

With a pleased smile she says, "Aren't you the gentleman, but what does Hellsing do?"

He slips out of character with his silly grin and says, "Oh its a Japanese cartoon about a vampire hunting organization."

"Well it looks very good on you. The girls should be down any second now."

Just after she said the last word, they could hear Buffy coming down the stairs. He thinks, 'My she looks great in red, and the top of her dress is wonderful, you just have to get over the poofy over petticoat lower half of the dress.'

"Buffy! Lady of Buffdom, Duchess of Buffonia, I am in awe! I completely renounce spandex!"

"Why thank you kind sir. Wait until you see you Willow."

Willow started to walk down with a ghost sheet over her head that is quite short that shows off a lot of leg.

Xander says with a smirk, "Mighty fine boo there Wills."

Joyce looks at her with a smile and says, "You have beautiful legs Willow you should show them off more often."

Xander announces, "Alright lets go show them munchkins how to beg for candy like a professional."

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Meanwhile in Ethan's shop, Ethan was putting the final touches on the spell to turn everybody into their costumes. By putting his blood on the statue of Janus the God of Chaos, and beseeching his god for the power to cast his spell, he was able after nearly an hour of praying to cast the spell turn everybody into their costume, or at least those that used anything from his shop.

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"Xander! Xander! Whats going on?!" a red haired scantily clad young woman was yelling at Alucard.

He replies, "Young lady I don't who you are but I am certainly not a Xander."

"Quit fooling around Xander we need to find out whats going on and get some help."

"I am not Xander. My name is Alucard and the last thing I remember was being in my crypt at the Hellsing compound in England."

"Oh My God! You've been affected too! Listen you are in my best friends body right now, he dressed as Alucard from the anime show called Hellsing. You don't exist in this universe, you are a fictional character come to life. Oh my you aren't going to all go crazy now that you don't have a Master here now are you? Please No Please No!"

Alucard has always been a master at the mind arts was able to find Xander's memories and verify her story and to really know Xander and respect him. 'Fighting the Trash in this universe and quick with the jokes, nice kid. I will have to leave something of myself behind when I end this madness. Especially since there aren't any true Nosferatus in this world.'

He says, "Ah I see I am in Xander's body. Yes I can see his memories now. And really Hellsing doesn't really bind me so much as I let them to. I get a chance to get in some battles and all the medical blood I can want, so I don't have to suffer getting it directly from humans."

"We need to find Buffy. She dressed as a 17th century noblewoman, so who knows what type of trouble she is in."

"What we need to do is find the mage responsible for this mess, and show him why you don't fuck with a person sometimes known as Vlad the Impaler."

"As soon as we have Buffy safe I will run to by myself to Giles. He'll know how to undo all this."

With a smirk Alucard says, "All by yourself huh? Don't you think I should be handling that."

Smiling, she slides her hand right through Alucard's chest. She says, "This outfit was under a ghost outfit, so now I am a ghost. I don't think there is anything out there that can harm me."

Knowing that he has the power to destroy her, he says with a smile, "Don't be so sure of that Little Tree. However you should be able to get there while I watch over your friend." 'Maybe this slayer will be able to help in my little project to leave a little of me behind in Xander.'


End file.
